dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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