bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
