So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
