If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
