Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
