I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The air taste purple.
Randomize
