I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
