Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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