oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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