She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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