dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
