That's intense
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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