he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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