honey bunches of taint.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
