so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
