I wannas sexs uuuuu
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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