thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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