She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
