Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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