my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
