I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
