Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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