just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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