I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
