better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
