i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
