Pappa wants mamma naked
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
