She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
