If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
