i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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