Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
