I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
