i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
