he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
