Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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