hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
