you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
