So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
