i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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