im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
