you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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