I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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