i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
