I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
