Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
