But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
