I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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