I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
