So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
