The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
