maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
