Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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